Untitled but Entitled
by spazmoid
Summary: Levi has successfully managed to fall in love with an idiot. His/Her/Zis name is Hansi (his gender preference changes with the weather and considering they live in a small cottage in Tennessee - that is a lot). Requested by DauntlessRanger on Tumblr. Prompt: Best Friend's Sibling AU.
1. o1

Levi met Hansi when Mikasa, his sister, had him over. It was a 'he' day for the agendered engineer, and the first impression Levi had of him was that he was _filthy_. He was covered in grease stains and reeked of engine oil. When Hansi held out a hand for Levi to shake, the eldest Ackerman did nothing more than glare at it in silent disdain.

Hansi took the hint, but he did not clean his hands. Oh no, that would be too much trouble. He had just tugged off the leather gloves he was wearing with his _teeth_ (oh god) and then held out his hand. "Was working on one of the trucks," he said in the most unapologetic voice Levi ever heard - especially when Hansi had the absolute _audacity_ to speak to him with the disgusting glove still in between his teeth. Hansi beamed at him, showing off surprisingly white teeth that did not go along with the rest of his appearance, and wiggled his clean fingers in a silent 'C'moooonnnn, just do it.' Levi just sighed and caved. He shook the hand and, as quickly as possible, let it go again and cleaned off his own with a handkerchief.

"You ride?"

It took Levi a full five minutes to grasp what Hansi was referring too. Monster trucks. "Yes," he answered curtly hoping Mikasa would whisk this weirdo out of his sight before Levi lost his patience. Honestly, it was enough Mikasa always dragged over her annoying brat of a childhood friend Eren and newly found friend Armin. Levi was really going to have to speak with her over her platonic attachments.

It took him a while to realise Hansi was not half-bad. The way Hansi spoke about monster trucks was both enigmatic and interesting. It was obvious Hansi knew exactly what he was talking about. There was a certain magnetism that surrounded Hansi's very being. Levi felt drawn in to his way of talking about 'titans' (Hansi slang for 'monster trucks'). Really, Hansi was surprisingly intelligent. He knew more than Levi credited him for. He did not even know about some of the things Hansi spoke of. Hansi knew every part, its slang, and what it did. He even memorised the details of cars he had worked on pro bono from his mechanic shop. "The first one that ever rolled in was Bean, small little thing with the most gorgeous paint job I've ever seen. Small, but with amazing power. It could crush anyone. Not as good as yours although. Man, what I would do to get inside of your truck." He looked over at Levi and winked as if to show just what he meant. He laughed at Levi's disgusted face at the come-on.

"You need to smile more," Hansi said and elbowed Levi some. "I'm just jokin'. I would never do anything you don't want me to." He had a small accent to his words. Levi wondered just where Hansi came from.

Levi reached to take a sip from the tea he had made before Hansi came. "I'm asexual, so I would never accept anyway," he said hoping that would deter Hansi from trying anything else. It worked on others.

"Cool. I'm agenderfluid, but I like sex. It's okay. Titans are _way_ better 'though," he chirped and brought the conversation back to his original point. "Now, let's talk about that engine. You've got to tell me what kind of gas you're burnin'."

After that, Hansi found a way to invite himself over whenever he pleased. It was no wonder Levi grew so attached to him. Hansi was always there, indulging in tea and titans, and Levi's lack of conversation never seemed to deter him. Levi never offered much detail about himself, but he learnt so much about Hansi over the next six months he felt as if he had known Hansi for years.

Hansi was an orphan like Mikasa had been before Levi had taken her in. Hansi, who was not lucky enough to have a long-lost sibling, had been shoved from foster home to group home to finally a too conservative all-girls school where he had met Mikasa who was just as headstrong and boundary-breaking as he was. That was when Hansi learnt he hated skirts almost as much as he hated female pronouns. "They just didn't _fit_ ," he told Levi on a muggy summer night while bending down into the hood of Corporal, Levi's beloved monster truck. Hansi's brown Oxfords were already been coloured black with oil. Levi had heard this bit from Hansi before, but he never minded Hansi telling him again; Hansi always added something new to his stories. Like a play, the reiteration was never quite the same as the first. "I mean, the skirts weren't too bad, breezy as fuck, but being _made_ to wear them was just unfair, and don't get me started how I was not even allowed to touch a car. That was before I had the whole car thief rep. They didn't want me to because they assumed I was a girl. I had to learn everything from sneaking out to car lots and helping out the junk keeper with revamping junk vehicles to tots lookers. I mean _damn_ , nice legs, daisy dukes, more like nice wheels, purring engines."

Levi wondered how Hansi could make a terrible joke out of everything. He watched as Hansi hopped down onto his feet. "Good as new. Better than a European paint job," he said and tossed Levi his car keys. Hansi hummed and bounded from one foot to the other. "C'mon, now gimme what you promised."

Levi sighed softly and pointed inside. "Shower first. I don't want you getting my seats filth-" Levi was barely done with the sentence before Hansi ran inside the house. Levi rolled his eyes and slid into Corporal with ease despite his height. He revved the engine and heard an excited yell from inside his cottage. Hansi obviously had heard the engine start.

Like a dog attracted to a piece of meat, Hansi ran out half-dressed and topless. Levi was surprised Hansi had even the time to put on pants. He frowned and leant over to check behind Hansi's ears. His skin was still damp, and his hair was dripping. "I still have no idea how you shower so fast," he said with a grunt once finding Hansi was adequately clean. He did not care that Hansi was not wearing a shirt. It was enough Hansi had the decency to at least wear his boxers. (And Levi had seen him without them once. That was how the agenderfluid bit was first introduced - the entire time Hansi did not put on pants.)

Hansi just grinned and gave Levi a thumbs up. "Hit the road Jack!" he whistled and threw his arms up. Levi sighed again and just pulled out of the driveway. Hansi bounced in his seat and tugged on his seatbelt and began to eye everything with a sparkling gaze. As Levi drove, Hansi was quiet for the first time. His eyes slid closed, and he just enjoyed the feel. There were no other cars out at this time of night. A true bonus to living in the Tennessean countryside. The sky was clear, and Levi could hear the sound of crickets faintly. Hansi really had done a number making his engine this quiet. He looked over at the person beside him. He wondered if Hansi was even still awake. He slid out of his own seatbelt and moved closer for better inspection.

He should have seen it coming.

Hansi's hand slid behind Levi's head in a fluid motion and brought their lips together. The kiss was soft, gentle, and the exact opposite of everything Hansi was. He could taste engine fuel, the most bitter coffee, and everything he hated on Hansi's lips. It was odd that Levi did not mind. It was even odder that he liked it.

It broke in moments, and Hansi's gaze was upon him in an intense stare. "Kodak moment," he finally said once he gave them both time to breathe. The kiss had not been deep, but it had stolen the air out of both of their lungs.

"You... are an ass," Levi responded indignantly and slid down back into his seat. Hansi beamed seeing that Levi had not rejected him. A soft smile rested on Hansi's lips the rest of the ride in Corporal, and his quiet attitude switched to him screaming his favourite obscure bands as they road through the countryside. After a bit of goading, Hansi managed to get Levi in on it, and Levi just hoped no one heard him singing Shel Silverstein's "I was stoned and I forgot." (They probably didn't. Hansi was much louder than he was.)

Hansi continued to hang out of the window until they arrived back at Levi's cottage, but he was polite enough to quiet down as to not wake up Mikasa. For some reason, it was only after Hansi had kissed him, Levi had taken in the fact that Hansi had began coming over to see him than the friend who had brought him over in the first damned place. Honestly, when was the last time Hansi had ran to Mikasa's room first and to Levi's? When was the last time Hansi left with Mikasa to the movies or wherever the hell they went instead of dragging Levi to a cafe or the garage?

And here Levi had been thinking Hansi was the dumb one.

"Hey Levi."

Hansi broke Levi's troublesome thoughts with his voice and another kiss. Those callous fingers brushed Levi's scalp and chapped lips scratched his own. It was not deep and wet, nothing that vile, but as chaste and nice as Levi liked it. He wondered if Hansi wanted it like this or was taking Levi into consideration.

"Thanks." The words were murmured against Levi's lips before Hansi hopped out of the titan. He left Levi with a wave and a memory of a soft kiss. Levi stared in disbelief as Hansi just grabbed his shirt from inside and hopped onto his motorcycle.

Yes, Hansi was most definitely an ass.


	2. o2

"I moved here for the peaches." Hansi was splayed out on Levi's freshly mowed grass with the frame of zis glasses brushing against Levi's pale feet dangling off of his annoyingly too tall porch. Levi looked down at Hansi with that heavy lidded gaze of his. He raised a curious eyebrow. It was all Hansi needed to keep going.

"The fresh fruit here is so good, and the people can be unexpectedly understanding. I love it."

Levi nodded in agreement. It was the south, but the community they lived in was relatively accepting. Perhaps that was because it was made up of misfits. Maria was a small town flooded with a young generation who had inherited old family farms and a pure love for monster trucks. It was considered a town of outsiders who needed to escape who profited from their hosting of monster truck races rather than any other appeal. There was nothing much else in Maria besides that.

Well, aside from peaches apparently according to the great Hansi Zoe.

"Liar."

Hansi grinned when Levi called zer out. Ze chuckled and gave him a grin. "True. I came here for the titans. Peaches are a total bonus although."

Levi snorted and rolled his eyes. He stood up and went to grab some peach lemonade from his kitchen. It was homemade. Levi trusted his own produce more than anything from the store. He tapped Hansi on the forehead with the glass. Hansi hummed and sat up to drink him.

"I Lev you," ze said through lips shiny with the glass's perspiration. Levi just shrugged and stared out at his small farm. The sun was setting, and the sky was pink and orange with a touch of faded yellow - like peaches. Hansi could be surprisingly poetic at times.

Hansi leant against Levi's legs, resting in between them with zis brown hair sliding against Levi's smooth skin. (Levi hated how messy body hair looked when not properly groomed, but he didn't mind what Hansi called zis natural fur.)

They watched the sun set and the fireflies litter the sky with the coming of dusk. Hansi's glass was now the home of a thousand ants that ze played with idly as the fireflies flew past their heads. It was disgusting. Levi again wondered what he found so appealing. 'Opposites attract' was how the saying went, and Hansi was proving it right.

Levi had never wanted to like anyone in the same way he liked Hansi. He would never call it love. Love never lasted. Levi had stopped believing in it when he had to grow up in the grotto of Detroit, killing who had to be killed with no remorse. He was the kind of wild dog that was too hard to tame. A Black Beauty with a hatred for rules and the society that gave them to him. He had a tight look of reality when he met Erwin Smith who took him in and helped him realise that rules were okay. It was the people who made things twisted.

Perhaps that was why Levi had ran off to the Ackerman farm that he had abandoned after killing the man who claimed to be his 'master.' Kenny was never a father, and now he was as literally dead as Levi always felt him to be. He had ran to the country to escape other people, and for the most part, he had been successful. He now had a sister who was just as quiet and orderly as he was (OCD must be hereditary), and a friend who could make up for every trait Levi lacked. He looked down at Hansi and ran a hand through that unruly hair. Hansi looked up amused as Levi redid zis ponytail to make it more... visually appealing.

"Thanks."

A nod then quiet silence.

Something about Hansi made Levi feel more complete as cheesy as that was. Hansi was his exception to everything whether it was body hair touching his, a persistent bedhead, or oil stains on his carpet and on his clothes (no matter what, Levi could never deter Hansi from hugging him when ze felt the need).

"Thanks."

Hansi looked up at Levi curiously when the man thanked zim. Ze tilted zis head, but Levi offered zim no explanation. He just continued to stare out at the fireflies and stars. Hansi stood up and held out a hand. Levi accepted it wordlessly, and Hansi hummed to a song that only ze knew the words too. Ze led Levi in a surprise waltz that had the man cursing at the person whose fingers interlaced with his. His vulgarities became quiet mumbles as they fell into a rhythm. Levi did not even hear the door when Mikasa came home from Eren's nor would he care for it. He smiled in a way that only Hansi ever had the pleasure of seeing on rare moments like this. After all, Hansi was Levi's exception.


End file.
